Jasmine's Story

Summary

When Jasmine returned to work part-time, dynamics had changed, and it felt like a completely new job...

Co-workers weren’t quite sure how to support her and it took a while to get back into the flow. But this taught Jasmine to be ruthlessly focused and make it work for her.

After her second child was born, returning one day way a week was perfect for Jasmine. Then two months later, she took the chance to work for herself.

Jasmine’s advice for working parents is to:

• Accept it’s going to be different, probably hard and uncomfortable – if it’s a breeze, then lucky you!
• Remind yourself what you excel at - find the people that will reinforce that for you. Keep investing in your network, call that wise friend, mentor, coach, even if all you want to do is crawl back under the duvet.
• Find a space or place where you can thrive.

Scroll down to read Jasmine’s full story about how she enjoys being a working parent… on her terms.

Jasmine's Story

I’ve ‘returned to work’ twice. The first time (a year after the birth of our first child) felt like I was starting a completely new job. Before we had a child, I had to negotiate with only myself. I could decide it was ok to go for lunch and then work later into the evening.

Now, I didn’t have that luxury. My day had to finish when I scooped that babe up into my arms. I quickly learnt that trying to combine the two simply didn’t work, I had to compartmentalise, and the couple of times I tried to ‘finish it later’, life would come and smack me in the face with a child who refused to go to bed or suddenly started puking everywhere.

In addition, I had cut my working week from five days to three days. So I had even less time. It made me ruthlessly focused. I remember for one project, I had an hour long call scheduled every week with the person who was delivering the work. For three weeks in a row, he spent the hour explaining why he hadn’t done any of the work. It got to the point where I patiently suggested that for the coming weeks, he took the one hour we had scheduled for our call, to do the work, as he was taking up 4% of my working hours with no tangible benefit for either of us – too harsh, perhaps.

The other noticeable issue was that people weren’t quite sure what to do with me when I returned. I’d had a challenging pregnancy and then been away from the office for a year. I think my manager was trying desperately hard to be supportive and not push me too hard, but at some points, it felt like my career was slipping through my fingers before my very eyes.

It was a real knock to my confidence. I was sleep-deprived, trying to work out how to do this ‘new’ job and it seemed that people thought I couldn’t do my job. The turnaround happened when we landed a new programme and I got pushed in at the deep end. I can still remember how brilliant it was to be in a room with my colleagues, being at my best and having a great day. As my manager left at the end of the day, he said, ‘And she’s back!’

I went back to work three months after our second child. Just one day a week. I knew I wasn’t a coffee morning and sensory play kind of mum.  I needed work stimulation to keep me sane. I loved it. I had a few hours each week where I still had a sense of influence and leverage.

Two months later, I had the opportunity to take voluntary redundancy. Working for myself was something I’d always envisaged doing, and it seemed unlikely I would get a better chance than this.

So I walked away. It was terrifying and ultimately very challenging. The loss of that aspect of my identity whilst recovering from a traumatic pregnancy and caring for a baby and two-year-old, neither of whom slept, proved very challenging.

Since then, navigating my own path has been challenging but ultimately very rewarding. I felt that the reality of working and being a parent was that the juggle would always be there. It was never going to be easy again, so I may as well put that effort in for my benefit rather than a distant, faceless shareholder.

Here are my top tips for navigating work as a parent:

Accept it’s going to be different, probably hard and uncomfortable – if it’s a breeze, then lucky you!

Remind yourself what you excel at - find the people that will reinforce that for you. Keep investing in your network, call that wise friend, mentor, coach, even if all you want to do is crawl back under the duvet.

Find a space or place where you can thrive